Unwanted divorce
By neatfreak
October 29 at 4:03 am
133
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I'm 37, been married for 6 years. I went to the doctor when I was 25 because I was having mood swings. They experimented with multiple drugs from Zoloft to Lithium. Starting and stopping all different kids of anti-depressants and mood stabilizers. After 5 or so years I gave up and stopped medicating. Once married I felt the mood swings again. This time we went with Abilify and Prozac, I'm on them currently, and have been for the last 3 or 4 years. This past summer I missed a couple days, then stopped all together. My wife & kids were gone most of the summer on vacations while I stayed home and worked. I just went back on the meds this last September. Wife said she can clearly see the ups and downs while not on medication. She also stated that she can see them, even when I am on them. I've never been clinically diagnosed with the bipolar disorder, but the more I read about it, the symptoms, and what to look for, it sounds like me. My wife asked me to leave the house last month and we should take a "break" for a while. I moved out and she served me legal separation papers 2 days later. Talk about depressing, I really started going downhill from there. Missing more work from moving and consulting counselors, layers, I lost my job 2 weeks later. I told my wife about it and the medical benefit package would have to be figured out. 2 days later she filed for divorce. I felt like shit, slept a lot and kept to myself. I'd like to think it cant get any worse, still unsure, I was clearly depressed, not knowing what was going to happen next. Its been over a month since I left the house, I get to see the kids quite often and I've had a lot of free time to read and research what I can do in the future to prevent this from happening again. Self-help is good, I am learning better ways to communicate with my wife and kids. I'm looking for more positive things in life to appreciate, setting goals and trying to be a better person. During my research I looked into the "cycles" my wife calls them and thats when I figured I'm likely bipolar. I drink 6 to 8 beers a night sometimes more, sometimes less. I guess I'm also an alcoholic. That is also counter productive to the medication and the illness. I want my family back, I want to live a normal life, I'm struggling to get there. I'm learning to be happy and stay positive during this time in my life is not an easy task. My wife continually brings up the past and all the horrible things about it. She is so negative, all the time. I plan on going back to my doctor and see if we can make some adjustments with my meds. I'm sure, with time I can probably return to being normal again. My wife, she is screwed, cannot and will not accept any responsibility for wrong doings or maybe make some changes for the better. To sum it up, you live, you learn, you gain, you loose. It's just not as fun to do when your all alone.
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Replies (5 replies)
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neatfreak November 10 at 8:25 am0 Likes
Over the past couple weeks my wife and I have been affectionate towards each other and even had sex one night. With the pending divorce I am still confused as to where we will be in the future. As much as I love her and try to express my feelings for her she constantly reminds me of the negative things that I said or did in the past. Knowing I can not change the past - only make for a better future doesn't seem to matter. There is nothing I want more than to have our family back together. It kills me.
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panda77 October 30 at 6:45 pm0 LikesHi. Very sorry to heard that. I have been married for 3 years. I n my hubby also same sometimes will get into quarrel over my bipolar. But we r not alcoholic drinker. He objection about divorce he dislike heard this word. My hubby also come from divorce family. We both are very treasure each other. Still living under one roof we have no children. We are still struggles together and work out together. No point think and bring up talk about the past cuz we cannot bring go back to the past this is pointless, very negative thinking mind. Must move on your life try more communciation with your wife n children. Hope u can get back your family. My heart went to you. Be a positive person, be a positive thinking can change and improve your life. I also research by myself self-help also listen n share from this app very useful n helpful n thoughtful many different friends different problem. Please take care well yourself.
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Madass October 30 at 5:02 pm0 LikesThat's so sad, but so much like mine, he fell out of live with me and left me and our son after 6 years of what I thought was a loving relationship. Instead I found out he left me for someone else with mental disorder and has broken me up into tiny pieces . This happened 7 days ago I'm still heart broken and hate this illness for loosing me the man of my dreams. I hate it !!!! Some days I wish I was dead , it's that bad. I'm now slowly on the up and if this leads to hyper mania god knows what I'll do, all the best to you, I'm here if ya need a chat at anytime
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neatfreak October 30 at 10:51 pm0 LikesHer family is so "normal" compared to mine, I did come from a split home and was "troubled" during my youth. From group homes to juvenile hall. I went back and forth from moms family to dads family, lots of schools with minimal friends. I look back on it, I thought that was normal. Her and I have different methods of parenting, we just can't agree on much of anything anymore. I know that my learning of the divorce put me in a real low depressed state. It's been weeks and I am now feeling better, I just don't want my happiness to be a temporary "cycle" and fade. How long on average do these "cycles" last? When will I feel normal again?
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Buzz0210 October 29 at 10:04 am0 LikesI was diagnosed last year around this time because my mood swings were too much for my husband to handle. He is the one who basically told me get help or get a divorce lawyer. I got help and it's taken us the entire year to get an understanding between us. For a while he was acting as if this is some temporary bug like the flu and after a few months of being on meds I should be cured!! Haha yeah right buddy! He realizes this now but it's still a struggle to even just stay together in the same house.
Your not alone you have us! I hope things get at least a little better for you! Stay strong!!
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